Me

Ok so since i've started a Blog i guess i ought to tell you all something about myself? I Hope you don't mind if i dont tell you all my dirty little secrets, of which i have many, perhaps a small portion will suffice? If not, tough luck!

My name? Do we give real names or do we use pseudonyms? I suppose it doesn't really matter. My name's Ben (not Benjamin... never Benjamin) but my brother, aswell as other people who know me call me Raggamuffin, or Brain. Raggamuffin 'cause im scruffy, or Brain 'cause im short(ish) squat and appear rediculously intelligent (however that is merely when compared to my friends, who like me are all council-housed retards with less hope than a Jew in a Nazi concentration camp)

I suppose im average height. About 5'10". I weigh like 200 lbs, so im not exactly slim, but im a little muscly with it so im not 200 lbs of flab, maybe 180 lbs of flab and 20 lbs of muscle. I have scruffy/curly hair that's a colour a find hard to define. Blonde? Dirty blonde? Brown? In spite of being almost 20 i have practically no facial hair, but i have a strong suspicion it will be ginger when it does infact begin to grow in earnest. I Take most after an older brother and his facial hair is ginger so i suspect i will follow suit. I'm well spoken; to my working class friends i sound like a ponce and to my middle class friends i dont sound working class, but i definately identify more with my working class roots than my university friends.

Speaking of which, i'm a student. I am a second year philosophy and theology student at a college in London. I know what you're thinking. PONCE! right? i think that myself sometimes. Don't get me wrong, Philosophy is awesome, if you're looking for something to engage with and lose yourself in, Philosophy is what you're looking for, but Thelogy, Whoo how i wish i was not studying that. I know i shouldn't complain, in a third of the world people would kill for the opportunities i have been given simply because i was born in a developed country, what right do i have to complain that the workload is too much to handle or that learning about Jesus and how he died for MY sins is boring when in some countries people have to walk 6 miles to get to fresh water. Well to tell you the truth, were they in my situation, they would probably be complaining too.

My life revolves around my Xbox 360, my hacked PSP, my friends (both university and hometown) music and long sessions of drinking and drugs. If im not at university i'm doing one of three things. Playing on computer games, playing/listening to Music or drinking or smoking. I'm a man of simple pleasures, why spend thousands of pounds jetting to Hawaii when i can spend £1000 and buy a big TV and i can sit in front of it night after night wasting my youth away? I dont see the point in saving for a rainy day because if i do that i cant enjoy the present. I live from payday to payday buying takeouts and rounds of drinks down the pub, when the money's gone, i do without. My DVD collection reached around 350 recently, that is 349 DVDs and 1 Bu-Ray Disc, Casino Royale, it came free with my PS3 (complete waste of money - but at least i have a Blu-ray player now) I'm the biggest film snob i know, although this only developed recently, i used to be into mindless american teen comedies and coming of age pieces like Porky's or American Pie. Dont get me wrong, i still adore these flicks, but now my tastes have matured, and my favourites are now classics or art pieces, cult smashes or iconic films. Clerks, Apocalypse Now, Memento, Remember the Titans, American beauty. Films such as these are now my passion, no specific 'genre' per se, outside of the definition 'FUCKING AWESOME'. A film that i can quote is a film that is worth seeing, films containing long diatribes about issues which matter as opposed to a teenage boy fucking a pie are now more my cup of tea.

Although i am extremely respectful of other cultures and other religions, i cannot help feeling a modicum of superiority. Don't get me wrong, im not a racist, in fact i'm quite the opposite, which is, strangely, what makes me feel superior. I'm not implying that im the only person without prejudices in the world, what i'm proud of is being a typical product of my society. My society being liberal Britain, specifically West London suburban working class society. I'm not the world's best travelled person but i've been to my share of places, and in few places have i witnessed the same racial diversity/acceptance as exists where i'm from. That's not to say that you dont get the odd prick here-or-there. People are people, people are ignorant, so of course you get wankers who think they're better than the blacks or the polish by virtue of the fact that theyre white and "they" aren't. Or indeed the odd black bloke who thinks hes better than all the whites! I dont associate myself with wankers like that, and it's apparent to anyone with half a brain, that those FUCKTARDS are in the vast minority.(can one say vast minority, or is it only vast majority that works?) England's not really a flag-waving nation. Ideas of Empire and "for Queen and country" are long dead, but what exists in its place, national pride, rather than a belief in national superiority, is in my opinion, a much greater, and far more humble position to hold. I hope this paragraph makes sense, that i have a strange sense of personal superiority because as a rule, Brits dont consider themselves superior? perhaps personal superiority is the wrong word, perhaps, self belief would be more appropriate. I'm proud to be who i am because in England, the notion of national superioty is all but deceased, and in its place all that is left is pride, pride in one's self or pride in one's nation or community. I'm not sure if its like that elsewhere in the world, if you're in Germany and you're in the same vain as I am and i'm incorrect, let me know! But it does seem to me that the obvious standpoint for a person to hold, is the position of national superiority, so i completely understand all those of you who DO infact believe "God bless America, the greatest country in the world", i just disagree with you, completely.

Religion! I'm devoutly atheistic. When i was younger i was open to the concept of God, but as i've grown up, my cynicism has increased by leaps and bounds and now the mere notion of God is laughable to me. I'm not anti-religion, i believe that religion can be a perfectly healthy, creative and beautiful thing i just dont subscribe to "christ weekly" However, i am a firm proponent of personal choice, and i do see church, or mosque, or gudwara as a method of indoctrination. I've been to church twice in my life, and both times i was dumbstruck with the ammount of singing and jubilation and exaltation of God. I fail to see how in a child's eyes this can be seen as anything less than, pardon the pun, the Gospel truth, leaving a child completely unable to make a decision for themselves. My friends laugh when i say this, being predominately christian or muslim, they consider the idea of a child coming to the conclusion of God on their own laughable, which is precisely my point. I was given the opportunity by my parents to believe what i saw fit to believe, and i turned out fine... i think? If a person believes in God, because they have weighed up arguments and decided it is what they believe, or if they just BELIEVE, the way i just disbelieve, then that is in my opinion, justifiable faith. However, if someone believes in a specific religion because they have never been given the opportunity to consider any alternatives, that is surely indoctrination? In George Orwell's 1984 people are happy that free thought is being eradicated because as long as they can remember free thought HAS been discouraged and viewed as wrong. In this context, one sees the administration as oppressive, borderline evil, but in the context of religion, people are given no choice but the methods used are acclaimed. To me, this makes no sense at all.